ISSUE NUMBER TWENTY TWO – 2005 EDITION

As editor of this sad little missive I have been very remiss over the past year in not doing my bit - complaints have been received from those Mak regulars desperate for a taste of the sayings and doings in our little paradise.

For those of you with broadband or unlimited patience, please click on images to enlarge

Probably one of the main reasons (apart from "avrio, meth avrio") is fear of libel action - its just a tad too small here to get away with it - for example which well known restauranteur was seen in which harbourside bar with a lady who was definitely not his wife………, anyway you see what I mean. There are several other "who is having nefarious activities with who" issues, but sorry we just can't print 'em. Mind you you could always ask questions like whose favourite song is "Tell Laura I love her".

Greek in thirty five years is now Greek Ad infinitum - this is because as far as I can see there are several people who will never learn it. The first two words in this lesson are Sketo and Skata. The first means "plain" as in frappe sketo, the second means something completely different, as Mikle will testify after ordering frappe skata. Skata means shit. It must be said though, that the ex pats who cracked up at him for this error were soundly scolded by the lady of the cafenion. "At least he is trying" she said. So all you dangerous Greek speakers take heart.

The other word we will do is katastrofi -- same phonetically in English but a different spelling - in Greek it literally means down (kata) turn (strofi).

Local News

We might live in a village in the country, but we pretty well have everything including one of the most stunning football grounds around - As you can see in the picture (right) - this is the local"derby" match: Koutsouras v Makrigialos.

The quality of the players might be a tad below Beckham's standard, but where would you prefer to be? Sadly at this particular derby match the pitch was not invaded by tomato wielding fans nor did the referee have to lock himself in the dressing room this time. Security for the match was provided by the chief of police and the mayor. Season tickets available. Please see the guys in Status Bar.

Sadly, as most of you will know, Porfira Restaurant burned down and will not arise from the ashes. Great loss to the village - super food and wine with a wonderful ambiance and about the only restaurant in the village to be featured in the Times and many guide books. Len, the ex-chef is concentrating now on property and still has some apartments for sale - Len is still single and as best we know "interviewing". Ed has given up and is also, still, in Daniela's immortal words, one of the " unwanted people" . Rumour also has it that Len is writing his autobiography. Apparently it will be called " A Recipe for Disaster".

A sad loss was Mittens the Villea RCO* - poor girl used her ninth life and was run over outside Villea - many tears were shed in more than one country - she was truly a smashing and well loved pussy cat. *RCO=Rodent Control Officer

For the uninitiated the picture on the left is a "kazani". Inside this pot are fermented grapes and from this boiled mixture we produce our own raki. This delicious (well it's an acquired taste) brew is readily available in the village. Anyone who has not visited for Kazanema season you are missing a treat - do try and join us at least once. Raki making season begins mid October through to the end of November - during the process of making one's raki it is customary to invite all your friends to join you - bbqs, music and so on - it's a great time of year to be down here.

Once the raki making season ends the olive picking season starts - this changes the life of the village quite a lot - pick up trucks laden with olive picking gear and sacks of olives being hauled off for pressing.

We produce our own olive oil at Villea which we use at Fisherman Jacks bar - it always looks strange in the winter with olive nets stretched across the pool. Every two or three years the olive trees have to be pruned, but imagine my shock when walking into the garden one winter morning to find our local priest Papa "I only work on Sundays" Costis, up a ladder doing the pruning.

Christmas was celebrated in traditional European fashion here at Villea complete with Father and Mother Christmas - thanks to Alan and Jackie. As the last arrivals from UK Ann was tasked with bringing in the parsnips (12lbs of the stuff). We all waited with baited breath to see what HM Customs said about that one.

Mikle arrived at the last minute clutching the cranberry sauce and was very grateful that his role as Santa last year had been taken over by Alan (now known as "Little Legs", to differentiate him from the other Alan who is now known as Gorgeous). Fido also had a Santa suit however it has to be said he was not that keen on it - he was particularly keen though on the amount of available turkey and roast beef.

In the spring time here we have our very own Makrigialos/Analipsis carnival - the parade travels from one end of the village at the Sunwing Hotel to the other end near the harbour. The picture shows the football teams float.

As pretty well everyone has access to a pick up truck there are several very creative floats, but its not for the faint hearted - flower bombs and fireworks are thrown - poor old Fido was terrified (I'd forgotten about the fireworks!) and look what happened to Gorgous Alan (right).

 

 

 

Head Honcho Vassili was hiking in the mountains above Heraklion and Zaros - this one was definitely not for wimps. This is one story that can only happen here on Crete. For the trip Vassilis dug out his old hiking boots and off they go, but when he puts on said hiking boots, they disintegrate. They are in the middle of nowhere up in the mountains near Zaros and they stop at a petrol station and ask if by any chance (on a Sunday) they can buy boots. "What size are you?" says the petrol station man. Vassili tells him and the guy disappears round the back and returns to lend Vassili his own boots. "Bring them back when you have finished the walk" he says. Vassili did, of course, return them after the hike but where else in the world are visitors so welcomed?

 

Ann, Mark, Mikle, Alan, Tim and Sue have a new hobby. We are exploring ALL of south east Crete by way of jeep safari - here we are in Georgias rather splendid raki bar in a village called Karidi (extra Greek word - it means walnut). This picture is chosen because we think its about the only pink raki bar on Crete - however research continues!

 

Ed's birthday was celebrated on a bus tour of South East Crete - Dobermanaki was tasked with finding a bus driver who would let us smoke and drink on the bus plus bring a dog - YES YES we got one - seen in picture on the first stop in Ierepetra. Fancy dress or party frocks for all with Tony standing in as the tour rep, complete with full Kosmar uniform. Singing was provided by Delores from Stratos; Alan, fresh out of UK and Cigarette John sang the entire sound track of the Sound of Music at one raki bar we stopped at - this surprised the locals a tad.

Doing our bit for wild life; seen here (below right) transferring the frogs and tadpoles that wintered in the Villea Pool to the reservoir at Tim and Franz' greenhouse- several people though we were a bit crazy but frogs have feelings too you know.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW….

To keep everyone in the picture Daniela now works with Rosemary at Notos (next to the fruit shop), George the fantastic chef at Da Salvatore has moved to Castro. Stratos is back at Stratos Restaurant with his lovely new wife Jenny and of course so are Van and Delores.

WHATS MOVED……

Faros has taken over the Limani space and Maria (Fany's wife from Proto supermarket) has made Apotheke into a bar again. Remezzo is now replaced by Teasers - that's now the late night hang out - AND thank goodness the deal on the land by Xani fell through so we still have good old Xani.

MISCELLANY…

Amnon our local Shiatsu guy - he should never have told pointy head this - his name translates into English as Pansy Potter. Fido, the rat's Sunday name is now "Stifido".

Ooooh we had famous person in our village - Neil Morrisey … get that … we also have a regular guest who is a dead ringer for Jeremy Clarkson.

The ex pat community continues to grow - Daniela points out that Germans cannot be called ex pats as since they lost the war they are not allowed to be "patriotic". So the non Greek community must be called ex pats, exiles and refugees!!

More and more people are buying holiday homes (including Mat, Diane and Tonys' des res in Ag Stephanos) - prices are going up - so get one now. Buy one now while stocks last! Incidentally Tony came at Easter and managed to keep up his record of requiring local medical attantion - he fell off his moped on the first day. At some point you need to take the hint!

Desperately in need of their administrations and having won a free week at Villea in the Wednesday quiz, Ann donated it to her hairdressers in the UK. They duly arrived - Sue, Ann, Daniela, Judy, Pointy Head and Tim are now beautifully coiffured and Sam and Matt had a great busman's holiday. Same time again next year chaps?

Visit the Villea Village Website at www.villeavillage.com where you can also read back issues of this sad little missive.

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