Villea Village - The Staff

Now this stuff is obviously slanderous, but none of these people has worked out how to use a computer so we should be safe.

Vassilis Karamanlis - Head Honcho. Two great loves in his life. Fish and........more fish. Obsessed with the things. Not happy unless he is within 2 metres of a fish. Preferably likes to have his hand in one (see photo).

Sue Quinn - Head Honchess. Stark raving bonkers. Changes hair style three times a week. Wears the number 7 shirt for the English Shopping Team. A Manc, say no more

Angelika - Administrator. Did not want to be in the list of mug shots, but you can't get it all your own way, Angelika. Suspected of having an English boyfriend - obviously discerning.

Kyrie Niko - The Clint Eastwood of Makrigialos. The coolest man in town. Seen here auditioning for Mr Universe.

Nikolakimoo - Barman. Has a girl in every country. Not sure about Leichenstein. Makes the best cocktails in town. One is called "Sex in the pool". No one has seen it. It may be a code for something more obvious.

Maria - receptionist. Lovely, lovely Maria, always hard at work and too busy to look at the camera. Always has a pleasant manner, but has been rumoured to bite the heads off chickens when angry. Just so you know where your chickens went to, Sue.

Nikos - aka Dobermanaki. Receptionist. Has Doberman-like tendencies. Often seen with the telephone in his mouth shaking it like a rag doll when talking to suppliers. Otherwise charming but be very very careful.

Manolis. Gardener/Handyman. Was nicknamed Kakotrikis at school. This means bad hair. Sporting a wig made out of dried palm fronds for this photo. Likes to post messages on people's backs saying "please kick me" or "why am I so ugly". If you see people walking backwards you know he is around somewhere.

Chrissoula. The best smile in Greece. When dancing has the twinkliest toes since Ginger Rogers popped her clogs. Great cook. Her local Cretan dishes have grown men drooling for miles around.

(From L to R) Maria, Irini, Maria, Costoula, Antonia, Zoe. The Maids. The latest girl group in town. All married to Real Madrid footballers. Ok so one of them has a son in the local football team.